After I wrote the San Diego Rock N Roll race report, I had several friends tell me that I'm way too hard on myself, and that they wished they could help me feel better about things. I have to admit that on race day, I was pretty hard on myself. I was just trying to get through the course. That experience lead to the writing of a really frank race report that might have made it seem as if I spent days sitting around in a pool of self-loathing. That isn't true.
Since this is my blog, I do tend to write more of exactly what is swirling around in my gray matter. Therefore, I am sometimes self-deprecating, but always intend it to be light-hearted. Also, I believe that being honest with myself and others is extremely important.
I don't believe that the way I think is so different from anyone else. I think we all have ways of motivating ourselves when things get tough. I'm not always proud of the way I act, and yes, I do sometimes embarrass myself. Later, some self-reflection helps me learn and make changes for the future. When that self reflection is over, I file it away and move on. That's where I am today. I'm moving on.
There is a saying: Marathon training is 80% mental toughness and 20% physical fitness. I'm on the right track with my physical fitness, but have a ways to go with my mental toughness. I'll get there. It will happen. I'll keep working on it. In the meantime, I'm not sitting around beating myself up. That's not the kind of person I am. I've got a family to love and miles to run.
I am thankful that I can run far. I am happy that I have the support of my family as I follow a dream that I found later in my adulthood. I am cheered on nearly every day by the people in my town who wave at me, give me the thumb's up sign, or stop me in the store or library to ask me how my running is going. My life is good.
I tied the running shoes this morning and headed outside. I breathed in the damp air, turned on the Garmin and hit the road. My smile returned immediately. I remembered that I love running not winning.
Next up: The St. George Marathon ~ October 2, 2010
3 comments:
I'm very often being told that I'm too hard on myself. But like you, I need to be really honest inside in order to make those changes for the future. Don't beat yourself up about beating yourself up. It's just how you are.
Stacy.....you are really an inspiration in being a positive loving person. As always you are a role model for me. Thank you...
Oh Ruk...I miss you so much. It's just not the same without you. Thank you for your comment. :)
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